Debate

Just making sure I’m working…

I’m tempted to start another blog or some sort of thing like that to show off my writing.

I can’t seem to find a support group or people to read my stuff and its really discouraging, depressing.

Of course it partially takes time. But still.

Drowsy pouty ramble while I wait for my computer to work so I can go to work. Joy.

Here’s some Magic!

I just summoned all the monsters…

My fiance and I got a new deck for Magic the Gathering and it’s been fun playing.

Need to play some more!

Especially so I can win more…

Used this card to kick fiance’s ass with all those monsters I summoned…

This is a really short post while extremely drowsy because I think I accidentally took my sleep meds.

Derp.

Well then…

Little brat…

It’s sure been interesting lately.

Zelda managed to climb on top of my work desk by leaping from the computer chair one night.

Just knocked EVERYTHING off of the desk, and I horrifyingly realized the idiot ate some dark chocolate I had up there.

I love her anyways…

She’s FINE!

Didn’t even get sick, but she sure did worry me.

Yeah...

A good friend of mine this last weekend was nearly beaten and strangled to death by her boyfriend.

Everyone who knows the boyfriend is in shock. Coworkers, friends, family and most importantly my poor friend.

He has an alcohol problem.

It was when he was drunk that he wasn’t himself.

I’m struggling with this for more than one reason.

Perspective

I do not this image!

I think I’ve rewritten this post three times now (this attempt included)

Obviously, I am a writer. I am part of some writer support groups.

I really want to talk about something that occurred due to a question that I asked but I struggle to articulate.

For one story that I have, the main character is an FtM transgender individual who is legally blind.

Jaxson is a small-time but published writer who lives in Alaska.

I do not own this image!

Through his story, he is going to be taken by a secret organization who strives to grant mankind access and usage of magic.

Jaxson becomes one of many experiments geared towards this goal.

Through organ transplants, he then becomes a werewolf (a magical creature in this world) thus the organization succeeds – in a way – in granting humanity magic.

Now I have social anxiety, I hate letting people down. This means I tend to need the approval of others when I actually don’t need it.

Doubting my ideas. I asked if what I had so far was “too much”

Of course, I didn’t like the first batch of answers I got because I did not take into account the audience I was seeking an opinion from.

The responses varied from, how can someone be transgender if they can’t see themselves?

Being blind, transgender, and then becoming a werewolf is too much for a character to go through all by themselves.

My idea is different and exciting, especially if the character remains blind.

It doesn’t matter what other people think, it’s my story.

There are a lot more, some really great in-depth answers.

The best thing this has taught me?

My opinion matters the most and what I want the characters and their stories to tell the world.

If I want to make someone in the LGBTQA community who is also disabled be the hero in the story. I need to do it.

I need to make it believable if I want specific opinions.

I usually get wrapped up in the negativity of things and don’t see the good in a situation.

Like people tend to say. There is a silver lining if you just look for it.

I am the most pessimistic person you could get to know sometimes.

Yet forcing myself to allow more people to comment on my inquiry, showed me a bigger picture.

This blog post means a lot to me because when you’re bipolar and super anxious like I am.

It’s really hard to see the good things in life or when you do, they seem surreal.

Sure. Some of you think this is trivial. To me, it’s phenomenally amazing.

So for others out there struggling to just get by another hour.

Found this all over college. Breathtaking.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Even if it’s curling up in your favorite blanket.

There’s something.

Just one thing.

That can be good in your life and you can tell everyone else to frak off because they’re not going to take your one thing away. 

Unique

I do not own this image…

I want to talk about something very important that I feel needs to be shared with as many people as possible.

My future mother-in-law shared an important Facebook message that has impacted my day.

Do Not Forget

🦠😷🧤😥

Today is Sunday April 26,2020.

  • We are at 40 days of social isolation.
  • The dollar is worth $ 5.32, the euro $ 5.77 and the pound $ 6.54.
  • Gas is $1.49 for regular & $1.79 for premium ($1.39 here)
  • Schools have been closed since mid March and are teaching remotely on-line. This will continue for the rest of the school year.
  • There are lines / tapes inside the stores to keep people 6 feet apart.
  • Bars and restaurants only for home delivery & pick-up.
  • Parks, beaches and walk-in places are not accessible to the public.
  • All sports competitions have been cancelled.
  • All festivals and entertainment events have been banned.
  • Weddings, family celebrations and birthdays have been cancelled. Funerals limited to 10-20 people.
  • People are doing drive-by parades to celebrate birthdays!
  • Young kids can’t understand why they can only see grandparents & other extended family and friends on a screen or thru a window if someone visits in person.
  • Hugs and kisses are not given.
  • The churches are closed or online.
  • We have to stay away from each other more than a meter.
  • Shortage of masks and gloves in hospitals.
  • There are fewer ventilators than there should be.
  • People are wearing masks, some places even REQUIRE that you wear them to enter! People are even making their own masks for sale or donation to medical facilities!
  • Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, antibacterial wipes and anything Lysol or Clorox is in short supply and limited per person…. IF you can even find them!
  • Stores are closing early to disinfect everything. (24 hour stores are even closing by 9pm)
  • Store check outs, pharmacies and even fast food drive thru windows have added plexiglass between employee and customer. Have to reach around or under to pay!
  • You can’t find isopropyl alcohol easily. .. supply per person is limited.
  • Australia, USA and Europe have closed their borders.
  • Western Australia has been divided into 9 territories & an instant $1,500 fine issued for crossing the border without a valid reason. (Transport workers, Essential services etc)
  • No one is travelling for leisure. Airports empty. Tourism has the worst crisis in history.

Why do I post this?

Next year & then every year after, this status will appear in my Facebook memories feed. And it will be an annual reminder that life is precious & that nothing should be taken for granted.

We are where we are with what we have. Let’s be grateful.

This text is anonymous, it’s not mine, but I copied because I want to remember it too.

You can do the same

Something Else…

I do not own this image!

Be Kind. Listen. Empathize!

EVERYONE is having a hard time right now with this pandemic.

Even the privileged.

People are dying. Death does not care about age, gender, race, religion or anything else that makes someone unique.

Be kind to those around you. The man who just brushed past you roughly and didn’t even apologize – maybe was even rude?

He may have just left work because his father who is in the hospital with COVID-19 suddenly stopped breathing and is now dying. Alone, in the middle of the business day which not everyone can take part in to provide for themselves and their loved ones right now.

Listen before you speak. To yourself and to others. There may be something important you’re missing because you’re too caught up in yourself to realize it.

Don’t do or say anything that you will regret. Do not give this pandemic the power to ruin your life by letting it affect your mental and emotional well being.

Make good choices, think about the good things and let the bad pass on.

It’s Okay…

Zelda helping with work…sorta

I want to share something that I wrote for my team of colleagues and at work.

Some bloggers here inspired this.

Insanity!

So I plan on buying a big tote full of 1980’s My Little Pony Figures…

Because I’m going to customize them!

Or try….very very hard to customize them.

I’ve never done it before but I’m going to try! I know someone who does it and I have fallen in love with the ones she’s done.

It’s not going to be easy but at least it is going to force me to do something productive.

Speaking of Productivity…

I got a new desk!

I’ll take a picture of our living rooms new set up later. But because we’re all stuck working from home (well office people are) my fiance occupies the office.

I have claimed the living room. We would normally just have everything in the office but we both do phones for our separate businesses we work for and a small space makes us too loud for each other.

Plus I’m visually impaired so I’m rocking the flat screen TV.

In other News-

Zelda is trying to take over the world…

Well, she’s trying to take over my new computer chair at least.

She is very fascinated by it.

It’s only because it’s one more place to claim. I plan on getting cat furniture for her soon so she has her own furniture to go crazy on.

Dream a little Dream of Me…

Ignore the title, it’s for another story I’m wanting to write, but the picture is relevant.

I had an interesting dream where a young adult girl loses her memory of who she is and where she is from.

A party bachelor who can’t seem to find his way out of a bottle of vodka, noticed she’s still around his flat after everyone else has woken up and left after a night of insane partying.

Realizing her predicament, he takes her in.

Fast forward, this girl stumbled into his party by sheer accident and passed out in a corner to sleep.

The bachelor feels bad for her state and let’s her stay with him while she tries to figure her life out.

In the process which includes medical visits to the doctor because amnesia.

She finds out she’s pregnant with twins.

So the last thing I remember in my dream is that one twin is a bringer of peace and the other is the maker of war.

WordPress is freaking out…kind of Annoying…

Keeps lagging and not saving things. Grr!

Anyways.

I’m not sure if the twins are Nephilim or prophets. Maybe something else.

The last thing I remember from the dream is the mom being angry that some thing of higher power (apparently she doesn’t believe in God or any religion) decided to just plan her sons lives out.

Of course, what mother wouldn’t freak out if complete strangers who try to take her sons away because they’re going to destroy the world trying to kill each other.

If only this dream didn’t scream Legion and Terminator. I’d totally write it.

Or maybe I still should?

Writers Block!

This old drawing of mine summarizes my feelings about writers block pretty well...

Having ideas lingering in the back of your mind is aggravating. Especially when you can’t put it down in writing or art!

I’m writing this blog post, but already I want to delete it.

I’m very tempted to dedicate this upcoming weekend to creativity.

But on the other hand, my mind seems to appreciate my playing games again.

Gaming for me is another way for my mind to escape. To not focus on anxiety.

I do know that I should avoid watching too many movies or shows.

I can sit around and do that all day! It’s a comfort activity to be honest.

Oh!

I am getting a desk today and a chair!

Oddly enough I’m most excited about getting back into sewing.

I have some unfinished quilts that need to be made!

Like a Doctor Who one…mahaha.

I really cant wait to finish this, actually.

Ahem. Back to that writers block…After it took me an hour to find that picture in the void of Facebook and then having to calm my ferret child down because she didn’t like falling onto a bristle brush so much…

Princess Zelda Delphine

And as I’m writing this. She’s gotten into a cabinet in the kitchen…Again…

Don’t let her fool you, she’s not really a princess…

So obviously I’m kept busy, that’s probably part of the writers block.

I’m considering in getting another wall whiteboard that’s a calendar. Try working on projects by schedule.

I humored the possibility of a lottery system, in my case it would be a determination by dice roll.

But I have a feeling I can’t keep track of too many projects at once.

If I did that type of schedule, I would have to limit what projects to bounce between. Or I’ll feel overwhelmed.

The last idea in mind is committing to one project per month or week, every two weeks.

A similar attitude has worked with my art.

Sometimes I’ll draw in ink because for some reason, even though I become more anxious about making mistakes. I find myself completing the drawing.

I even end up liking the drawing!

So who knows?

Those ink drawings I mentioned! They were made during Inktober/Goretober!

I guess this blog is helping, this post is pretty long!

I think I’ll leave things here for now on my thoughts and frustrations with writers block.

I have a new desk coming so hopefully a new setup will give me a boost in motivation so things can finally get started.

Wish me luck!

Laugh at my wild hair! Laugh I say!

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

I have a lot to write about, some good, some bad, some random and silly.

So why not start with a blog?

Well it is definitely turning out to be harder than I thought it would be, haha!

But that’s okay. I’ll make setting up this blog my first personal goal to write about…

And I’ve made this post so far!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

post